i need friends

Yeah, thats right. i need friends. i thought i could go with just socializing with ppl at work, but i guess once they start to turn on you, its not good enough.

today, i ran into one of my frightmares buddies, Robert, and it was so nice to be able to talk to someone that didnt judge me for who i am, or whose daughter i am or anything. we could talk about anything, and it was fun. latley the only one that cares of my opinions is Jared. but it still doesnt feel like enough. i guess what i really want is some girlfriends, like what i used to have. i used to have like three or four girls that i could just call up anytime i wanted and we could go goof off. but now, i just have Jared. dont get me wrong, i love him, but what i would give for some estrogen, if you know what i mean. just some time i can go to denny's, or hit the mall for some clothes shopping. but i just have no one to go with me.

its just like i have returned to the life of a loser, like when i was in elementary. a desperate friendless loser who was constently picked on. always teased about my messy hair, or dorky glasses, or mismatched clothes. cept now its more getting yelled at cuz so and so isnt ready for food yet, or "loverboy" doesnt need to come fix the computer, or whatever. now i am getting snapped at everyday, and no one will stand up for me. o well, i guess its what is expected of my life.